Bored of the Rings

This article is about the 1969 parody novel of Lord of the Rings. For other uses, see Bored of the Rings (disambiguation).

Bored of the Rings

First edition
Author	Henry N. Beard, Douglas C. Kenney
Illustrator	William S. Donnell (map)
Cover artist	Michael K. Frith (1969 ed.) Douglas Carrel (2001 ed.)
Country	United States of America
Genre	Fantasy satire
Publication date	1969
ISBN	978-0-575-07362-3

Bored of the Rings is a parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. This short novel was written by Henry N. Beard and Douglas C. Kenney, who later founded National Lampoon. It was published in 1969 by Signet for the Harvard Lampoon. In 2013, an audio version was produced by Orion Audiobooks, narrated by Rupert Degas.

Overview

The parody generally follows the outline of The Lord of the Rings, including the preface, the prologue, poetry, and songs, while making light of what Tolkien made serious (e.g., "He would have finished him off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. It's a pity I've run out of bullets, he thought, as he went back up the tunnel..."). Names and words in the various languages are parodied with brand names that mimic their sounds (for example, Moxie and Pepsi replace Merry and Pippin). There are many topical references, including once-popular brand names. It has the distinction for a parody of having been continuously in print since it was first published.

Aside from the text itself, the book includes five elements that parody common features of mass-market books:

• A laudatory back cover review, written at Harvard, possibly by the authors themselves.
• Inside cover reviews which are entirely contrived, concluding with a quote by someone affiliated with the publication Our Loosely Enforced Libel Laws.
• A list of other books in the "series", none of which exist.
• A double page map which has almost nothing to do with the events in the text.
• The first text a browsing reader is liable to see purports to be a salacious sample from the book, but the episode never happens in the main text, nor does anything else of that tone: the book has no explicit sexual content.

The Signet first edition cover, a parody of the 1965 Ballantine paperback cover by Barbara Remington, was drawn by Muppets designer Michael K. Frith. Current publications have different artwork by Douglas Carrel, since the paperback cover art for Lord of the Rings prevalent in the 60s, then famous, is now obscure. William S. Donnell drew the "parody map" of Lower Middle Earth.

Characters

Notable characters from Lower Middle Earth

BOTR	Allusion	LOTR
Goodgulf Greyteeth, the good wizard	Good Gulf, a dated reference to Gulf Oil's premium-grade gasoline. He is described as a "discredited Rosicrucian," "32nd Degree Mason," and "Honorary Shriner".	Gandalf Greyhame, also called Gandalf the Grey
Boggies	From bog or boggart or bogey/bogie or booger or boogie.	Hobbits
Dildo Bugger of Bag Eye	Dildo; bugger.	Bilbo Baggins of Bag End
Frito Bugger	Fritos, a brand of corn chips.	Frodo Baggins
Spam Gangree	Spam, a brand of processed, canned meat; gangrene.	Samwise Gamgee
Moxie Dingleberry	Moxie, a soft drink brand; dingleberry.	Merry
Pepsi Dingleberry	Pepsi, a soft drink; dingleberry.	Pippin
Stomper, or Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, heir of Barbasol and king of Minas Troney.	Stomp; compare with Thumper, the rabbit from Disney's Bambi; arrowroot, a kind of starch notably used in bland biscuits for babies and the elderly; Arrow, a brand of men's dress shirts; minestrone, Barbasol shaving cream.	Strider or Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Isildur.
Gimlet, son of Groin	A tool or cocktail gimlet; groin.	Gimli, son of Glóin
Legolam	Leg of lamb.	Legolas
Orlon	Orlon, a brand of acrylic fiber.	Elrond
Garfinkel	Garfinckel's, a department store chain.	Glorfindel
Bromosel	Bromo-Seltzer, an indigestion-relief product.	Boromir
Farahslax	Farah, the company making "action slacks".	Faramir
Benelux, steward of Twodor.	Benelux, the union of Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg; two door, describing a type of car (contrasted with Fordor.)	Denethor, steward of Gondor.
Eörache, daughter of Eörlobe	"Earache"; Earlobe.	Combining Éowyn, daughter of Éomund, with aspects of Arwen
Tim Benzedrine	Benzedrine, a stimulant drug popular during the 1960s, notably with Harvard professor Timothy Leary.	Tom Bombadil
Hashberry, wife of Tim Benzedrine	"Hashbury", the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco, or hash(ish)-berry.	Goldberry
Goddam	God damn, a common oath.	Gollum
Karsh, Narc of the fighting Otto-wah Goulash, Narc of the Ohma-hah	Yousuf Karsh, Canadian portrait photographer, Ottawa, Canada. Goulash, Omaha (tribe), Narc (Narcotics).	Uglúk, Grishnákh, Orcs, Uruk-hai
Cellophane and Lavalier	Cellophane, an inexpensive cellulose product; Lavalier, a jewelled pendant.	Celeborn and Galadriel
Birdseye of the Vee-Ates	Birds Eye, a company selling frozen vegetables (also obliquely references their competitor's trademark the jolly Green Giant). V8 (beverage), a vegetable drink.	Treebeard of the Ents
Sorhed, the evil wizard, ruler of Fordor	"Sorehead", a slang term for an unsportsmanlike loser; four door, describing a style of car.	Sauron, ruler of Mordor
Serutan the wizard of Isinglass	Serutan is a laxative ("Natures" spelled backward); Isinglass, collagen from the dried swim bladders of fish. Used as finings in the brewing process, and in confectionery before gelatin became widely available.	Saruman, the wizard of Isengard
Gwahno the Windlord, an eagle	Guano, bird or bat droppings.	Gwaihir
Wormcast	Worm castings.	Gríma Wormtongue
Schlob	Slob or schlub.	Shelob
Ballhog	Ball hog, a team member who consistently and inappropriately keeps the ball during play.	Balrog
Narc	Narc, an undercover narcotics agent; by extension, a sycophant of the establishment.	Orcs
Nozdrul	"Nostril" or "nose drool".	Nazgûl

Places

Notable places from Lower Middle Earth

BOTR	Allusion	LOTR
the Nattily Wood the Evelyn Wood	Natalie Wood, an American actress Evelyn Wood, popularizer of speed reading	The Old Forest
Whee	an English interjection: see wikt:whee	Bree
the Ngaio Marsh	Ngaio Marsh, a New Zealand crime writer and theatre director	the Dead Marshes
Twodor	Two-door (car)	Gondor
Fordor	Four-door (car) and the Fordor	Mordor
Roi-Tan Roi-Tanners	Roi-Tan, a brand of cigars	Rohan Rohirrim
The Zazu Pits, a big trash-burning area in Fordor	ZaSu Pitts, an American film actress	The crater of Orodruin
Sol Hurok, a mountain range on the edge of Fordor	Sol Hurok, a 20th-century American impresario.	The Ephel Dúath mountain range
Minas Troney	Minestrone	Minas Tirith
Chikken Noodul	Chicken noodle (soup)	Minas Morgul
Gallowine	E & J Gallo Winery	Brandywine

Places which are only in the map

Some places which are only in the map of Lower Middle Earth, not in the story

BOTR	Allusion
The Legendary Drillingrigs (a long way out to sea in the west)	drilling rig for petroleum
the Islets of Langerhans (small offshore islands)	Islets of Langerhans in anatomy
The Bay of Milhous (an inlet in the shape of a profile of Richard Milhous Nixon's head; after the Bay of Belfalas in Tolkien's map)	37th US President from 1969 to 1974
Cantinflas (a shore in the Northeastern coast of the Bay of Milhous.)	Professional name of Mexican comedian Mario Moreno Reyes

Translations

• Finnish: Loru sorbusten herrasta ("A rhyme about the lord of Sorbus", a brand of rowan-flavored wine manufactured by Altia with reputation as a bum wine) was translated by Pekka Markkula and published in 1983. Following the release of the Peter Jackson film trilogy, it was republished in 2002.
• French: Lord of the Ringards ("Lord of the Has-beens") was issued in 2002.
• German: Der Herr der Augenringe ("Lord of the Eye Rings" or "Lord of the Eye Circles"), was translated by Margaret Carroux, who also did the 1969-70 translations for Lord of the Rings.
• Hungarian: Gyűrűkúra ("Ring course," as in rejuvenation course; "Lord of the Rings" translates to the similar, Gyűrűk Ura). This version was published first in 1991.
• Italian: Il signore dei tranelli ("Lord of the cobweb") was issued by Fanucci Editore in 2002. The cover was drawn by Piero Crida, the same person who designed the covers of the "Lord of the ring" translations issued by Rusconi Libri s.p.a. in 1977.
• Polish: Nuda Pierścieni ("Boredom of the Rings") was translated by Zbigniew A. Królicki and issued by Zysk i S-ka in 1997 and republished in 2001.
• Portuguese (Brazil): O Fedor dos Anéis ("The Stink of the Rings") was published in 2004.
• Russian: Пластилин Колец ("Plasticine of the Rings") was translated by Sergey Iliin and published in 2002.
• Spanish: El Sopor de los Anillos ("The doze of the rings") was translated by Jordi Zamarreño Rodea and Salvador Tintoré Fernández and published in 2001.
• Swedish: Härsken på ringen ("Angry at the Ring") was translated by Lena Karlin and published in 2003.

See also

• Doon, a parody of Frank Herbert's Dune from National Lampoon.
• Dmitri Puchkov, an author who intentionally mistranslated Lord of the Rings
• The Last Ringbearer by Kirill Eskov, Lord of the Rings told from Mordor's perspective.
• Hordes of the Things and ElvenQuest are radio parodies from the BBC.

External links

• Richard F. Drushel's parody of the LOTR Appendices in the style of BOTR
• Richard F. Drushel's parody of "The Scouring of the Shire" in the style of BOTR
• Review of BOTR with cover art
• Wilderness Poster
• Adventure game: information and screen shots