Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)

"Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)"
Single by Benny Hill
from the album Words and Music
B-side	"Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo"
Released	1971 (1971)
Format	7" single
Recorded	Abbey Road Studios, London
Genre	Novelty
Length	3:52
Label	Columbia
Writer(s)	Benny Hill
Producer(s)	Walter J. Ridley
Benny Hill singles chronology
"Harvest of Love" (1963) "Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)" (1971)

"Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)" is an innuendo-laden comedy or novelty song, written and performed by the English comedian Benny Hill. The song was first performed on television in 1970, and released as a successful recording, topping the UK Singles Chart in 1971, reaching the Christmas number one spot.

Story line

The lyric's story line is inspired by Hill's early experience as a milkman for Hann's Dairies in Eastleigh, Hampshire. Market Street, mentioned in the lyrics, is an actual road in Eastleigh. The song tells the fictional exploits of Ernie Price, a 52-year-old (68, in the original television version) milkman who drives a horse–drawn milk cart. It relates his war with the bread delivery man (two ton Ted from Teddington) and their efforts to win the heart of Sue, a widow who lives on her own at No. 22, Linley Lane.

When Ted sees Ernies' cart outside Sue's house all afternoon, he becomes enraged and violently kicks Price's horse Trigger. The two men resort to a duel, using the wares they carry on their respective carts, and Ernie is killed by a rock cake underneath his heart, followed by a stale pork pie in his eye (a fresh meat pie in the original television version).

Sue and Ted then marry, but Ernie's ghost returns to haunt them on their wedding night.

History

"Ernie" was originally written in 1955 as the introduction to an unfilmed screenplay about Hill's milkman experiences.

In 1966, Frank Gallop had a US hit with "The Ballad of Irving", which had the same melody and a similar metre. "The Ballad of Irving" was itself inspired by Lorne Green's song "Ringo" from 1964, which had the same style and structure.

Hill performed the song on The Benny Hill Show in 1970. The original clip is seldom repeated as it was made in black and white owing to a technicians' strike, but the episode has been released on DVD, in both the United Kingdom and United States.

In the original television broadcast version, as part of the song's comedy plot, Benny incorrectly sings the name "Ernie" several times as: "Hernie", to which the backing singers would correct him, by strongly replying the name as: "Ernie!". To this, Benny would then pull an embarrassed/annoyed face. This comedy plot was concluded at the end of the song when Benny, pulling a mischievous face, sang a final: "Hernie!". On the record release, only the final: "Hernie!" is heard.

The following year, it was included with minor lyrical revisions on Hill's album Words and Music. When it was released as a single on EMI's Columbia label, it became a surprise number-one hit, topping the UK Singles Chart for four weeks at Christmas 1971. A promotional film was shot starring Hill as Ernie, Henry McGee as Ted, and Jan Butlin as Sue.

Hill re-recorded the song shortly before his death in 1992 for the album Benny Hill... The Best Of.

Legacy

On Desert Island Discs in May 2006, Conservative Party leader David Cameron picked it as one of his eight favourite records.

Ernie was referenced in the Superhero segment of one episode of BBC TV's Basil's Swap Shop, with an Ernie lookalike appearing at the superhero's flat, only to be told that speedy delivery of milk was not a super-power.

Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo

The single's B-side, "Ting-A-Ling-A-Loo", is a music hall parody.

See also

• List of number-one singles from the 1970s (UK)
• List of number-one singles in Australia during the 1970s

External links

• BBC News Magazine: Ernie's Journey

Preceded by "Coz I Luv You" by Slade

UK number one single 11 December 1971 for four weeks

Succeeded by "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing (In Perfect Harmony)" by New Seekers