My Immortal (fan fiction)

My Immortal is a Harry Potter fan fiction story which has been described as a "popular 'bad' fanfic" and "the worst fanfic of all time." It is often seen as an example of entertainingly bad writing.

Written by Tara Gilesbie under the pseudonym XXXbloodyrists666XXX, it was originally posted on FanFiction.Net in 44 parts, starting in 2006. The story amassed over ten thousand reviews, with eight thousand of them being negative before it was removed by the site's administrators in 2008. After the story's deletion, copies continued to circulate on the Internet. A number of YouTube users have made videos spoofing the story. The story has been humorously examined by the website Cracked.com. A web series based on the fanfic has been produced with the episodes airing on YouTube.

Synopsis

The protagonist of the story is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, a seventeen-year-old vampire who attends Hogwarts as a member of Slytherin House. Hogwarts is depicted as being divided between two cliques, the goths and the preps. Ebony and all the sympathetic characters are part of the goth clique while the members of the prep clique are portrayed unsympathetically. Many of the main characters of Harry Potter are given gothic makeovers, moved to the Slytherin House, and renamed.

The story begins by focusing on Ebony's relationship with her boyfriend Draco Malfoy, who is depicted as a shy, sensitive bisexual. After learning that Draco used to date Harry "Vampire" Potter, Ebony becomes so angry that she runs crying into the Forbidden Forest, where she meets Lord Voldemort. Voldemort demands that she kill “Vampire” Potter or else he will kill Draco, but Ebony refuses. Later on, Draco learns of this encounter and he is so angry that Ebony kept it from him that he commits suicide by slitting his wrists.

In a subsequent scene, however, Vampire has a vision of Draco being held prisoner by Voldemort. The discrepancy between this and the earlier depiction of Draco having committed suicide is not explained. After rescuing Draco from Voldemort, Ebony and her friends attend a My Chemical Romance concert in Hogsmeade. The concert is crashed by Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but Ebony and Draco are rescued by Albus Dumbledore, who has just given himself a gothic makeover. The next day, Dumbledore gives a gothic makeover to the Great Hall as well, but Ebony feels that he is a poseur and dislikes him greatly, a sentiment shared by her friends.

During this time, Lucius Malfoy and Sirius Black are inexplicably shot by a "black guy". There is also a plot point on Professor Trelawney/Professor Sinistra (combined into one character for reasons unknown, and often referred to as "Professor Sinister") having an addiction to the truth serum Veritaserum, which is never spelled correctly in the story. A third plot point is Professor McGonagall - often referred to as "McGoogle" or "McGoggles" - and Severus Snape - often called "Snap" or "Snope" at times - attempting to rape or harm the protagonists. Another plot point is Remus Lupin and Snape being bisexuals who spy on Ebony, at one point resulting in a humorous moment shortly after Draco's "death" where they are sitting on their broomsticks with "Loopin masticating" to Ebony bathing. In addition, Hagrid has inexplicably become a teenaged Hogwarts student who has a crush on Ebony, and Severus Snape is depicted as two separate characters called Severus and Snape.

Ebony begins having mysterious visions, which she is told indicates she must travel back in time to stop Tom Riddle from becoming Voldemort by seducing him, and to retrieve an antidote for Sinister/Sinistra/Trelawney. Arriving in the past, she meets the young Riddle, who calls himself "Satan", and who has been mistakenly referred to as "Tom Anderson", "Tom Bombadil", and "Stan". "Satan" is in a band with James Potter, Severus Snape, Sirius Black, and Lucius Malfoy. He is uncanonically depicted attending Hogwarts at the same time as the Marauders in what is further uncanonically portrayed as the 1980s. The author points out a couple anachronisms in these scenes, telling readers to ignore them. There is also an unexplained cameo by a gothic Marty McFly, with the DeLorean time machine able to transform into an iPod.

Eventually, Ebony brings "Satan" forward in time, where he morphs into the present-day Voldemort. This leads to a confrontation between the forces of good and evil in the Great Hall. The story ends ambiguously with Ebony firing off an Avada Kedavra curse, which is misrepresented as abra kedabra.